10 Signs Your Relationship Is Wavering

By Jessica Shoflick

It is natural for intimate relationships to ebb and flow over time. Learning to observe and decipher between ordinary lulls from more serious relationship concerns can be difficult and overwhelming. How do you feel day to day in your relationship and are these details you’re noticing a deeper sign that your relationship could be wavering or unhealthy? Here are a handful of areas to consider and honestly reflect on to help answer this question.

1. You communicate less

Sometimes when an unexpected life transition occurs, our routines are often disrupted, which can lead us to not engaging in the self-care we would normally practice. Despite the disruption of your routine, it is important to find a way to continue some form of self-care. Self-care can range anywhere from exercising, meditating, drinking water, taking a nap, speaking with your therapist, etc. One way to incorporate self-care back into your routine is planning for the week ahead and asking yourself what are a few forms of self-care that you can hold yourself accountable to practice, such as going on a walk each morning.

2. Your goals, values and priorities have shifted

People evolve and change overtime. It is important that as you grow individually that you also grow alongside your partner. Pay attention to the way in which your beliefs, morals and dreams continue to coincide or potentially drift apart.

3. When a major life event or moment occurs, your partner is not the first person you tell

If another person takes precedent in sharing either good or bad news then this may be a sign your partner is no longer your biggest confidant.

4. You notice their flaws rather than their strengths

Are you losing sight of all the positive qualities in your partner? Are you being critical and nit-picky? If you struggle to recall the aspects of your partner your love or are attracted to this could be a sign the relationship is no longer fulfilling.

5. You and your partner don’t speak of the future anymore

Looking towards the future in a relationship is a sign of health – that you both envision your futures with your partner there. When talk of the future lessens or fades this is usually a sign of concern.

6. Changes in intimacy or attraction

It is normal that your intimacy or sex life ebbs and flows, however, in conjunction with other factors this could be of concern. If you are noticing more longstanding patterns to a lack of intimacy or unattraction this is something to consider.

7. You feel disconnected or alone despite their physical presence

When you are with your partner do feel disconnected despite being physically together? It is important to ask yourself this question as physical connection or presence does not always correlate to emotional intimacy.

8. You no longer have trust, honesty or loyalty

Knowing that you can confidently rely on your partner in these areas brings strength to the relationship. If you are feeling more doubtful, questioning or concerned about transparency it is worth exploring deeper.

9. Respect is no longer mutual

Are you feeling that your partner is disrespecting your needs, boundaries or values? Respect is a fundamental building block to a successful relationship and should be maintained and nurtured always.

10. Your needs are no longer being met

Are you seeking fulfillment or aspects of your life from other people aside from your partner? Think honestly about how your partner is supporting, caring and engaging with you.

If you’ve observed in your personal life that you are experiencing any of these areas in a current relationship you may want to consider seeking out support. Therapy can be a non-judgmental, safe and nurturing space where you can closely collaborate with a professional and explore whether or not your current relationship is serving you in a healthy way. You deserve to ask these difficult, sometimes painful questions with support.