The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Kinkiness in Adulthood

By Mathew Skrezyna-Wunsch

Sex for many adults can be difficult following childhood trauma. Our ability to form a sexual identity can be inhibited, and our traumatic experiences can act as barriers to experiencing an enjoyable and satisfying sex life. Society places emphasis on heteronormative roles around kinkiness and leaves little room for focus on desire and pleasure for everyone. LGBTQIA+ individuals often find it hard to fit into the already existing schemas throughout society, and struggle with identifying ways to cope with the obstacles present throughout their sex lives.

Misinterpretation of Porn as Representation of Kinks

Identifying what you are sexually interested in as an adult can be difficult and overgeneralizations and negative assumptions have contributed to the development of kink stigma. Porn is often a medium people turn to in an attempt to expand their sexual interests, but acts as an unrealistic guide to help explore kinkiness in practice in adulthood. A lot of the time porn can avoid the essential aspects that are important in kink subcultures such as safe, sane, and consensual conversations that make sex enjoyable and safe.

Improving Self-Esteem as a Way in Forming your Sexual Identity

Self-esteem is an important aspect that many individuals struggle with following trauma. Focusing on ways to empower yourself to feel confident throughout your sex life can help transform the dynamic of intimacy and can allow you to feel a more fulfilling sex life. It is important to discuss throughout therapy how your trauma presents and obstacles it creates for you throughout your own sex life. Identifying a therapist that is familiar with your background can be conducive to a healthy working relationship and in turn help you produce the outcomes that you are looking for.

Online Forums/Support Groups

Online websites, such as Reddit and YouTube, can provide a community of support where you can connect and learn more about specific kinks and ways individuals can explore their sexuality while learning about safeguards and essential practices for your kink. Community support groups can act as informative networking for you to learn more about the impact your childhood trauma has had on your sex life and the enjoyment and or lack thereof that you are experiencing.

Childhood trauma can act as an obstacle in forming a healthy sexual identity and can avoid kinkiness in adulthood. It can lead to difficulty forming or maintaining relationships and overall have a huge impact on sexuality and kinkiness in adulthood. Seeking therapy to identify effects of childhood trauma is a useful tool to increase enjoyment throughout sex and work towards increasing kinkiness in adulthood.

When working through trauma it is important to have a therapist to help process and determine how this trauma is impairing your everyday life. You do not have to do it alone and can feel comfortable and empowered enough to discuss difficult subjects such as sex and kinkiness with someone who understands you. Book a session with me today to get started on your journey.